If you plan to pop the question, finding the right ring to get down on bended knee with can seem like a daunting task. As if meeting your partner’s expectations didn’t offer enough pressure, there are also centuries of proposal traditions to navigate. Whether you’re charmed by traditions or see yourself as a free spirit, look at our guide to engagement ring etiquette to see which rules have become outdated and which help you perfect your proposal.
According to the Office of National Statistics, the UK has seen a steady decline in the number of marriages performed, most notably between opposite-sex couples. This decline began in the 1970s and was accompanied by an increase in the age at which people get married. Cohabiting has become far more common, and in recent years, rising costs of living and challenges in purchasing a first home have all contributed to changes in the tradition of marriage.
To get an idea of how many people are proposing annually, we can track the number of marriages. In 2023, over 21,000 marriage ceremonies took place in the UK—if trends continue, thousands more Brits will ask their partner to marry them in 2025.
There’s no escaping the fact that the earliest use of engagement rings was as a sign of ownership and obedience. Ancient civilisations, such as the Romans, used bone, flint, iron, and ivory rings to display a man’s ownership of a woman, and these couplings were generally contractual in nature – bringing two families together for financial benefit rather than for love.
The rules for engagement rings changed somewhat in 850 CE when Pope Nicholas I proclaimed that an engagement ring should signify a man’s intent to marry. Though today, we see an engagement ring as a sign of love and commitment, this sentiment wasn’t the norm in society until the 15th century. During this era, rings became far more loaded with sentiment, and simultaneously, they became more aesthetically pleasing and influenced by the fashions of the time.
Although we saw diamonds being set in engagement rings from the 1400s onwards, it wasn’t until the 1940s that they became so iconic as a centre stone. This popularity can be attributed almost entirely to a clever marketing campaign by the mining company De Beers, which advertised diamonds with the slogan “A diamond is forever”. This established diamonds as the stone that signified eternal love; to this day, more diamond rings are sold than any other style when people are choosing an engagement ring.
Whether you want to turn to longstanding traditions to shape your engagement ring choice and proposal style or are keen to free yourself from unnecessary expectations, our top ten engagement etiquettes will give you plenty of food for thought.
Much like the ancient use of engagement rings, asking your partner’s father for permission to marry them stems back to a time when men had ownership over women. It could be argued that the intent behind this request has changed. Those who ask their partner’s father today are likely to do so because it feels like a sign of respect to the family.
So, should you do it? Your partner’s father may love this tradition and though some dads may find it unnecessary and outdated, you’re unlikely to offend by doing it. Speaking to your partner’s family first also has practical implications. It allows them to raise any concerns about the prospective marriage or gives them the chance to think about any financial support they may like to give toward your wedding or your future.
Even if you’re not enamoured with this etiquette, if you know your partner’s father is a stickler for tradition, for familial harmony, you may wish to ask him.
In recent decades, the statistics show that couples date for two years on average before getting engaged. This is a rather sensible time frame, avoiding impulsive decisions made during the first flush of love and giving the couple a chance to live together and assess their compatibility as the mundanities of day-to-day life kick in.
Two years is not a hard and fast rule, however. If you believe in love at first sight, you may be itching to propose after a few months. After happily cohabiting with your partner for years or even decades, your views on marriage may change and it may suddenly feel right to pop the question. Follow your heart but never rush the decision.
Even today, it is very common for the partner who plans to pop the question to keep it all secret. Much like giving a gift, this probably revolves around the desire to surprise and delight. But is this the right choice in 2025?
Financial implications really come into play here. Would your partner be happy for you to invest money in an engagement ring without prior discussion? If you’re unsure about this but still want to conduct a romantic, surprise proposal, consider purchasing a low-value, temporary ring.
Engagement ring traditions don’t come older than this. Men have been choosing their partner’s engagement ring for centuries; today, many people still like this etiquette. If you think an engagement ring would mean more to your partner if you chose it, then it’s best to stick to this tradition. However, making this decision together is becoming more common, so why not have a conversation about your partner’s preferences?
Statistics show that the average cost of an engagement ring in the UK is £2000 – nowhere near three months’ worth of wages. The notion that a man’s wages should dictate how much he spends on an engagement ring can also be traced back to canny marketing by De Beers. Though they initially mooted a month’s wage, over time, this crept up to three.
This engagement ring cost rule is unquestionably outdated, and you should spend what your budget allows.
Men have traditionally paid for their partner’s ring, but as shared finances have become far more common, there is flexibility surrounding this engagement ring shopping etiquette. It may be your personal preference to buy the ring, and your partner may not like the idea of being asked to contribute, but for other households, all more significant expenses may be a joint endeavour, so always make your decision according to your unique circumstances.
Historically, the woman has worn the engagement ring, but jewellers are noting an increase in the sale of men’s engagement rings. This probably reflects changing attitudes toward gender roles and the increase of same-sex marriages and partnerships.
Whether you both want to wear an engagement ring or only one of you is a matter of personal preference, but if current trends continue, we’re likely to see more men donning engagement rings in the future.
When we think about etiquette for engagement rings and proposals, getting down on one knee to propose may be one of the first things that springs to mind. Surprisingly, proposing on bended knee is quite a recent tradition, and originated with the depictions of proposals in Hollywood movies during the 20th century. However, the physical act of going down on one knee has a much longer history. It is thought to date back to Medieval knights who would bow down to noblewomen as a sign of respect.
There’s something rather chivalrous about going down on one knee, and your partner may enjoy this romantic display. However, if you or your partner find this awkward, remember this isn’t a centuries-old tradition – it was born out of Hollywood. You might prefer an alternative way to pop the question, such as letting your partner find their ring in a glass of fizz or tucked into a sweet treat or bringing them to a “marry me” message spelt out in rose petals or written in the sand.
De Beer’s did a phenomenal job of propelling diamonds to the top of a woman’s engagement ring wish list and there really is a lot to love about this icy stone. It has top-tier brilliance, offering an incredible level of sparkle – just what you want when you’re showing off your engagement ring to the world. Being a rare precious stone, a diamond comes with a level of prestige, and this makes an engagement ring feel extra special. A diamond is also unbeatably durable, which is what you need from a stone in a ring that you’ll probably wear daily.
This means diamond engagement rings remain popular. They look beautiful, and their colouration allows the wearer to coordinate it with their other jewellery easily. However, seeing other gemstones in engagement rings of both contemporary and vintage-inspired designs is becoming more common. Though we’ve dispelled the engagement ring cost rule, there’s certainly money to be saved by choosing a stone other than a diamond, whether that’s a white moissanite or a colourful gem like a sapphire or agate.
For decades, matching your engagement ring and wedding band metals was common, such as two yellow gold rings or a white gold or platinum set. There are advantages to this. The aesthetic is cohesive and you’re less likely to see a softer metal being scuffed by a harder one. Over the past few years, mix-and-match metals have been making a splash on the jewellery scene. This is starting to cross over both into engagement ring and wedding band designs and the practice of wearing a wedding band crafted from a different metal to the engagement ring.
Again, whether you match the rings or not is entirely a case of personal preference. While the mixed style is currently in vogue, the fashion may change. Make the choice based on your own tastes rather than being influenced by the trend.
Engagement ring etiquette is an ever-evolving process; in decades to come, we’ll likely see new traditions emerge. Whether you choose to follow the classic rules or not, the following top tips can help you secure the perfect engagement ring for your partner:
An engagement ring is one of the most cherished pieces of jewellery in someone’s collection – and often one of the most valuable. Protecting this sentimental and high-value ring with right level of insurance cover should be a priority, especially since most are worn daily and therefore more vulnerable to accidental damage, loss, or theft. TH March offers ring insurance premiums from just £60 a year, protecting your ring both at home and abroad. Get a quick quote online now and enjoy instant coverage after answering a few more questions about your ring or ring collection.