Planning that secret proposal, the one in a special place with the sun setting and a down-on-one-knee declaration of undying love, is going to lose some of its impact if you don’t have the perfect engagement ring to present to them. What’s even worse is having a special ring and then finding out (after they’ve said “Yes!”) that it doesn’t fit. But if you want to keep your proposal a surprise, how do you find out your partner’s ring size without giving the game away?
In this article, we’re going to give you some handy tips and tricks to achieve just that. We’ll explore why it can be so challenging to keep the secret under wraps and how other family members or friends can assist you. We’ll also tell you what not to do, in case you do spoil the surprise. We’ll also look at how to keep your precious engagement ring safe with insurance from TH March.
Surprise!
Why do we love surprises? Is it the spur-of-the-moment rush of adrenaline or the unexpected proposal that comes out of nowhere? Or perhaps you love to create a surprise with plenty of behind-the-scenes, meticulous planning? Keeping that surprise moment is almost impossible for some, while others can keep a poker face and drop a bombshell proposal seemingly out of nowhere. At the heart of every proposal is that ring – gorgeous and sparkling, with gems that convey a special sentiment and will always remind the wearer of that magical moment when you asked them to be your partner for life.
But it’s not just marriage proposals – rings are incredibly personal gifts and can be given as a token of love and appreciation. As a birthday gift, an anniversary present, or simply as a token of love. Most often, though, a surprise ring is given as an engagement ring. And it’s essential that the ring fits perfectly.
To do that, you need to know how to find out your partner’s ring size. And the trick is to do that without letting them know. From asking relatives to sneaking one of their other rings away without them noticing, it can be tricky to get it absolutely right. But why is it so important to get your partner’s ring size correct?
Size matters
Picture the scene – you’ve found the perfect spot, one that holds real meaning for you both. You’ve gone down on one knee and presented a beautiful engagement ring, and your partner has said yes. It’s time to pop the ring on their finger to complete the magic, but it’s too small. The moment is ruined, and all because you got the sizing a little off. Alternatively, the ring could be too big and slide straight back off. No, it’s not a ‘bad omen’, just bad planning!
There are other reasons why you should make an effort to get your partner’s engagement ring size correct:
Our top tip: A ring should slide easily over the bottom knuckle or joint of the finger without being forced, yet feel snug as it passes over the knuckle. This will indicate that the ring is the correct size, with enough room to allow the finger to swell without the ring feeling too tight, but tight enough to avoid falling or sliding off the finger.
How to find out your partner’s ring size without them knowing
There are lots of ways you can sneak a peek at your partner’s engagement ring size without giving the surprise away by asking them outright. Here are our top tips on how to measure an engagement ring size.
If your partner currently wears a ring on their ring finger but it spends most of its time in the jewellery box, this is an ideal opportunity to take it to a jeweller to find the exact size. However, make sure the ring you’re using as a ‘template’ is one that still fits your partner before you secretly squirrel it away to be measured.
This is an excellent way to get a very close approximation of your partner’s ring size. Slip on one of their rings and note where it sits on your finger. Then use a ring sizer (which can be bought online for a few pennies) to measure that part of your finger, and you have your partner’s ring size without them ever knowing.
You’ll have to be extra sneaky with this one, but it’s great if you want to know how to measure your partner’s ring size. Use your partner’s ring to make an impression by laying it flat on top of a bar of soap and then pressing gently until you achieve a clear impression. Then clean the ring and take the bar of soap to your jeweller with the exact engagement ring size on it. Don’t worry, jewellers have seen this trick used many times, so they’re pretty familiar with it!
If you don’t have a bar of soap handy, don’t worry. The Soap Trick works just as well with a pencil and a piece of paper (and they’re less likely to be suspicious about the strange soapy smell their ring has suddenly acquired). Lay the ring flat on a piece of paper and draw around the inside of the ring (not the outside – you want the inner diameter to get the right size).
If there’s a family member you can trust not to give the game away, ask them to see if they know your partner’s ring size.
This is a risky one and actually involves the partner, so plan it carefully first! When you’re out shopping with your partner, say you want to get a gift for another relative (such as your mother, brother, sister, or so on) and head to the jewellery store. Then the rouse starts – ask your partner to try on different rings on the assumption that they’re a similar ring size to your ‘fake’ relative’s surprise gift. Note which ring fits your partner best, and you have their exact ring size for the real surprise. The type of ring they try on is immaterial – what you need is the engagement ring size, and this is a perfect way to get it almost perfect first time.
There are numerous tips available online for determining your partner’s ring size, including ring size charts that provide accurate representations of ring sizes. Print out a copy of the chart and then pop one of your partner’s rings over the different-sized images until you find the right one. Remember, it’s the inside diameter you want, not the outside.
You’ll need to be good at bluffing for this one! Tell your partner about a TikTok challenge that claims a person’s ring size is the length of their finger plus two (obviously, this is completely bogus!). Challenge them to see if it’s true and let them test out the theory for themselves. Naturally, the answer will be wildly incorrect, but with a bit of probing, you might get them to give away their ring size without realising they’re doing it. This is relevant for US ring sizes, which are measured numerically, but UK sizes (denoted by letters) correspond to the US numerical system, so you should be able to work out your partner’s ring size without too many problems.
How not to work out your partner’s ring size
Guessing your partner’s engagement ring size is the worst thing you can do because the chances are you’re going to get it completely wrong. If you don’t have a solid basis to work from, your results will be inaccurate. And if you’re planning on presenting them with a tension engagement ring (which is currently on trend), the ring’s design makes it impossible to resize. Have patience and try some of the other more surefire methods we’ve mentioned.
Trying to slip a ring sizer onto your partner’s finger while they’re asleep is a risky way to try to measure your partner’s ring size. They might wake up halfway through, or their finger may be swollen. It’s also just a little bit creepy!
In summer, our fingers swell due to the heat, while during the cooler months, they’re often a size or two slimmer. Consider the time of year you’re planning to propose, and how the climate may impact your attempts to get an accurate ring size.
We suggested earlier that you sneak away with one of their rings from their jewellery collection, but be mindful of which ring you choose. Asking a jeweller to size a ring based on one they wear on their thumb or pinkie finger will result in an engagement ring that only fits their thumb or pinkie, not their ring finger.
The trick when trying to determine your partner’s ring size is to act naturally. If you behave out of character, your partner is bound to guess that something’s up, and the surprise you imagined could create friction between you instead.
Mocking it up
If your partner has a great sense of humour, you can avoid all of the stress of trying to get the right engagement ring size by using a mock ring for the proposal. This could be a jelly sweet or a cheap and cheerful novelty ring. Make it even more convincing by putting your mock ring in a genuine, high-quality ring box. Then it’s time for the big reveal. Once your partner says yes, you can then go shopping for the real engagement ring together.
Keeping your engagement ring safe with TH March
An engagement ring is loaded with sentimental value that cannot be replaced or given a monetary value. However, the ring itself does have a set value, and replacing a lost, stolen, or damaged ring will incur a cost. While it may not be the most romantic thing to consider when you’re choosing an engagement ring, jewellery insurance is essential. It eliminates any concerns about the cost of replacing a ring or having it repaired. For a high-quality ring featuring a large diamond or precious gem, the cost can be substantial.
For over 130 years, TH March have been providing bespoke insurance for high-end jewellery, watches, engagement rings and more. Our experts understand not only the intricacies of insurance but also how much each piece means to the owner and how important it is to them to protect their most treasured possessions. To find out more, take a look at our ring insurance services, use our online Get A Quote function for a free, instant quote, or talk to one of our team today.