Proposal Etiquette: The Do’s & Don’ts when getting down on one knee

In the modern world, the concept of etiquette may seem somewhat outdated. We’re a more relaxed, laid-back society, with looser rules and regulations around social behaviour (as long as you’re not hurting anyone, that is). But strangely enough, there are still some dos and don’ts when it comes to asking someone to marry you, and some clear guidelines on how to propose, as well as how not to propose.

In this article, we’re going to look at the history behind the ‘getting down on one knee’ tradition, give you some tips for proposing, and explain how to avoid common mistakes. We’ll look at everything from doing it in public to choosing the right moment, selecting the ring to present and what happens if they say yes (and no). We’ll also provide you with some wedding proposal tips, such as whether it matters which knee you go down on.

Why is it important to get it right?

You’re just about to ask the person you love most in the world to spend the rest of their life with you. That’s an essential and pivotal moment in both your lives, representing a willingness to commit to years of togetherness. So it’s not a frivolous activity to be taken lightly.

A wild, impulsive, spur-of-the-moment proposal may come from the heart just as much as a planned and prepared one, and if that’s what happens, then we’re not going to tell you that you’ve ‘done it wrong’. However, if you’re planning your proposal with meticulous precision, there are a few things you can do to ensure the moment is captured to perfection. A rushed, “So, marry me?” may be romantic to you, but to your partner, it may feel too casual, too flippant, and not a genuine sentiment. How you propose will depend on your personalities, and a little forethought can help avoid the most dreaded of moments: a ‘No’ response.

A brief history of the marriage proposal

Proposing, especially getting down on one knee, has its roots in medieval times and the chivalry code of the knights. To show loyalty to his lord, a knight would often go down on one knee. As a marriage proposal carried the same gravitas, the tradition of going down on one knee to ask a fair maiden to enter into married life was a natural development.

Things really started to get flamboyant during the romanticism of the Victorian and Edwardian ages, who were obsessed with the concept of medieval chivalry and embellished it with the period’s own inimitable and overblown style. In 19^th-century Europe (especially the UK), the idea of presenting an engagement ring (which had started with the Romans and their ‘betrothal rings’) became extremely popular, complete with the knightly gesture of going down on one knee. Young gentlemen wanting to marry were compelled to ask their father’s permission to wed their daughter, and marrying for love was more common than succumbing to a planned union.

Strangely enough, many of the traditions of the 19^th century are still with us today, although it’s less common to ‘ask permission’ than it was. There is still a lot of etiquette and tradition involved in getting married, from putting the bands up (basically announcing to the world your intentions to wed) and the presentation of an engagement ring to ‘seal the deal’ as it were. However, in the modern age, these traditions have evolved into more creative proposals, with an increasing number of women taking the initiative to propose.

The ‘dos’ of proposing in modern times

There are no hard and fast rules in the modern world concerning how to propose, but there are a few tips that can help the event go smoothly. Here are five dos that’ll help you know more about how to plan a proposal:

• Have a plan – If you want a wedding proposal to go smoothly, you need to plan a little. That could be as simple as buying a ring in advance and waiting for the right moment to ‘pop the question’. Or it could be an elaborate ruse involving flash mobs, a romantic location, and the sudden appearance of a Mariachi band.

• Choosing the right ring – And just as importantly, choosing a ring that fits. This is where some additional planning comes in. Pick a ring that you know your partner will love. If they’re into more modern designs, avoid choosing a flowery, ornate vintage-style ring, and conversely, steer clear of a contemporary design if they love everything retro.

• Get the ring sizing correct. We’ve written a whole article on how to choose the right engagement ring size without giving the surprise away, which is well worth checking out.

• Practice what you’re going to say – Nothing can ruin a proposal faster than getting down on one knee, presenting a beautiful diamond engagement ring, and then fluffing your line. Practice until it’s word-perfect. But remember to say your proposal from the heart to stop it sounding over-rehearsed.

• Location, location, location – Is there a special place where you first met and fell in love? A dream destination that your partner has always wanted to go to? Or even a perfect time of the day (no, it doesn’t always have to be sunset either)? Choose your location wisely, as the setting will make it more memorable when you ask your partner to marry you. A perfect mountain backdrop, a tropical beach, or a football match where the team you both passionately follow are playing for the cup – the location really does matter. It’s well worth scouting ahead so your beautiful moment isn’t shattered by the noise of a nearby six-lane motorway, or that the spot you choose isn’t a tourist hotspot where well-meaning passersby end up getting in the way of your GoPro as it captures the magic moment.
• Chat about weddings beforehand – This is one of our top tips for proposing. If you’re going to ask someone to marry you, make sure they’re into the idea of marriage in the first place. In the modern world, many people are content simply living together, don’t want to get married for personal reasons, or have been through one marriage proposal before, and it didn’t go well. If you want to avoid an awkward moment when you’re at your most emotionally vulnerable, check that your proposal will be met with delight, not a flat-out ‘No’.

What not to do

Those five tips for proposing should set you up for the most magical of moments, but there are a few things you should avoid. Here are five tips on how not to propose:

• Don’t announce it on social media – We seem to put every thought, every event, and every plan on social media these days. It’s a habit that almost everyone has: a quick Instagram or Facebook update, a message on X, or a TikTok video. It may seem like the natural thing to do, but remember that the proposal should be to the person you love, not your Facebook ‘friends’. Keep the announcement for after the proposal, not before.

• Telling too many friends – If you want a secret to stay secret, there’s a straightforward rule – don’t tell anyone! A proposal of everlasting love and a devotion to a life together is something that should be between you and your partner. Your friends, especially online friends, don’t need to know until after you’ve made the proposal. This is especially true if there’s even a slight possibility that your partner might decline your offer of lifelong commitment.

• Overspending your ring budget – engagement rings can be as expensive or as budget-friendly as you want. However, bigger isn’t always better when it comes to engagement rings. Your partner may be the sort of person who loves subtlety rather than extravagance. You’ll also need to keep as much cash as possible in reserve, because the rest of the wedding process isn’t going to be inexpensive. Set a budget and stick to it.

• Rushing your proposal – By this, we mean getting flustered and blurting out your proposal in a rush. It’s a moment to be savoured, to be treasured forever, a chance for you to pour your heart out to your loved one and tell them just how much they mean to you. Don’t just yell, “Marry me!” and leave it at that.

• Going for a public proposal if your partner’s an introvert – Not everyone wants a fanfare, public applause, or their face on the big screen at a sporting event. If your partner is more reserved, avoid forcing them out of their comfort zone with a very public show of affection. Keep it between you in an intimate and private moment. Remember, you’re proposing for love, not for internet ‘likes’.

Creative proposal ideas to consider – What’s popular or trending in 2025?

You wouldn’t normally consider the concept of a marriage proposal to have ‘trends’, but as our society changes, so do our habits. Today, we’re all far more aware of the importance of personalisation, as well as being generally more tech-savvy.

The most popular marriage proposals in 2025 are all about creating a truly immersive experience, using technology to capture the moment, and personalising the act so that it has real meaning. Sprinkle in a little destination magic and you have the perfect proposal.

Light up the sky with a drone proposal

Drones are everywhere, capturing travel blogs and showing us all new and exciting viewpoints. They’re also used to create light shows. Some companies will organise swarm drones to spell out your proposal in lights in the sky.

The food of love

If your partner is an avid cook, why not organise a private masterclass with a chef, where the final dish reveals your engagement ring or message of love? It’s a perfect choice for a more intimate proposal, and you can tuck into some delicious food at the same time!

Up, up and away

Is there anything more incredible or memorable than floating silently above the ground in a hot air balloon? That magical moment when the sun rises and you’re flying like a bird is the perfect time to pop the question. Be warned, though, this may not be the best choice for anyone with a fear of heights…

“The Story of Us” Video Montage

Get creative and make a short film charting our relationship journey. Include highlights and memorable moments, and play it during a movie night. If you really want to make it special, some small cinemas can be hired out for that dramatic reveal.

Hunting for love

Scavenger hunts are a fun way to turn your proposal into an engaging and entertaining game. Little clues lead your partner on a quest dotted with personal details that tell the story of your love. The final clue leads to you, complete with a ring and ready to start the next chapter of your life together.

Involving your furry friends

Our pets are important to us, so why not include them in the proposal? Attaching a ring to your pet’s collar with a “Will you marry my human?” note is bound to melt their heart.

Flash mobs

Are they still a thing? The answer is yes. Combine them with some drone choreography, and your flash mob comes complete with a light show. This is one for extroverts and those who don’t mind being the centre of attention.

FAQs

What knee should you get down on when proposing?

Traditionally, a knight swearing devotion to his lord would get down on his left knee. This was also a practical choice as it would allow the knight unhindered access to his sword if things went a little sideways. The tradition has been transposed to proposals, but it really doesn’t matter which knee you go down on, as long as you can get back up afterwards!

Should you hire a photographer when proposing?

This depends on your own personal choice. Camera phones, GoPros, and sports cameras produce excellent-quality photos and videos, but if you want a special addition to your photo albums, then having a photographer on standby is a great way to ensure you can focus on the moment, rather than your camera’s tripod and shutter speed.

Can the bride-to-be do the proposing?

For centuries, women were banned from proposing. Then, in the medieval age, a law was passed allowing them to ask men for their hand in marriage, but only on February 29^th. Today, a bride-to-be is just as likely to do the asking as the groom-to-be, and there’s no stigma attached to women doing the proposing anymore.

Should you ask the father of the bride for permission?

This depends on you. It’s no longer a requirement (as it once was), and some women prefer their future husbands to refrain from ‘asking permission’ due to the connotations of the woman being viewed as ‘property’ being handed from the father to the future husband. However, it’s prudent to discuss wedding matters with both families to avoid any conflict.

Insure your engagement ring with TH March

It’s definitely not the most romantic of things to think about, but insurance for that precious engagement ring should be a part of your proposal plans. A diamond engagement ring can be an expensive investment, and the cost of replacing it if it’s lost, stolen or damaged could leave you seriously out of pocket at a time when every penny counts.

At TH March, we don’t just dish out practical tips on how to propose. We’re also one of the most respected suppliers of bespoke jewellery insurance, with over 120 years’ experience in the field. Our specialist ring insurance makes sure your most precious items are covered, whether it’s a £10,000 diamond or a £100 cubic zirconia.

For more information, visit our Ring Insurance page or contact us to speak with one of our specialist advisors today.